When I awakened to the spiritual path over 12 years ago, I came like most of us, groveling and in serious emotional pain. Initially, I believed, like most of us, that some big God from the sky was going to zap all my enemies, dump down a pile of cash, find me the most handsome lover and of course, prevent any and all problems from entering my life! Man oh man was I wrong. It's all ,most laughable when I think about my earlier concepts of spirituality and spiritual growth.
I am no means a guru or one to know all things about walking the spiritual path, but you can trust and believe when I say that I have gone through the fire when it comes to walking my OWN path to so called enlightenedment, and the evolution that has occurred within me and around me has been nothing short of miraculous!
One thing that I have observed in my evolution is that my walk has brought me closer to the stillness and fullness of love in every area of my life. Not the romantic notion that we have been mesmerized into believing is the real thing. I am talking about love and respect of all things and beings. I am coming into this stillness in love that allows others to be exactly where they are in their life, yet am somehow able to be who I am without this overwhelming fixation to change or even judge them..It's okay! Love has helped me to see things as perfect, including myself. Now I am not a punk, ask anyone who knows me intimately, if you violate me or mine, you will be handled.(smiles) But even the angry part of me has come into unison with the more peaceful side of me in recognizing that nothing and no one can change the core of who I am, so why bother getting all tizzied up over fleeting moments of anger?!
I think the path, or at least my spiritual path is to come to live in the stillness of love/ Not to push or pull against anyone or anything, just create the things in my life that resonants with me the most, and just let other have the right to do the same for their lives. Never to worry about anyone that may rob or hurt me, because as long as I vibrate from the frequency of love, neverwould I and the offender shall meet-we will be on unequal frequencies!
I absolutely dislike New Years resolutions because they often entail in ones vibrations the things that they do not want, therefore creating more of what they do not want for the coming year, but this year, my resolution will be a continuation of what already resides in my vibration, and that is to go deeeper in the stillness and fullness of love. From that point, all things, material and spiritual will manifest for me and mine.
Oh, joy to you all! I wish that you feel what I feel..that's my wish to you all!
Keesha .
Thursday, December 31, 2009
Saturday, December 26, 2009
In Search for Freedom!
My grandfather, I called him Pop, was a jailbird artist. While he was in jail for the umpteenth time, he made this picture made from some type of foil material. Anyway, the picture was actually an encased poem about life. I can not remember the exact words of the poem, but I do remember the meaning. The poem was called, 'The Game of Life.'
Pop was a certified acoholic, a sick man. But he had a brilliantly keen perspective on life. He was a deeply philosophical man whose wisdom that took me years to evolve into. Pop, even in his drunken state would do his best to grace my younger brother and I with a wisdome he believed would save us from th pitfalls of life. His poem, The Game of Life' spoke about how all of us, the drunk, the stupid, the whore, the pimp, the rich, the old and young; are playing a game in life. It went on to show how we think we are free because some of us manage to dominate the seemingly weaker, but in essence, we are all slaves to this game.
Over 20 years after Pop's death, the movie The Matrix came out and I had an instant affection for it because it too spoke of the 'systems' or games that we all play. In the movie, as we all know, the hero and his followers eventually break free from the systems of control and manage to accomplish some truly amazing feats. I believe, just like the movie, and the phiolosophical obeservations of my Pop, that we are all indeed living wintin a system, a set of physical, and or psycholocial beliefs that dictates the way we live in this world. And I also believe that most of us are here to learn to break free from these controls. There may be many diffrent paths to freedom, but we all have that yearning to break free. But my questions has also been, do we really ever break free?
My answer today to that question is NO! Sounds pessimestic for one who claims to walk the spiritual path right? Perhaps, but I can only speak from my experiences. Let me share what I have come up with thus far on the whole topic of freedom.....
Everyone who knows me, knows that I was a battered child who was literally born in the system (protective child custody, welfare, foster care,etc.) And although I managed to deny a ton of barriers, and bend rules, I still remiain in the system. And I do not mean the poverty system of welfare, public housing, food stamps and all the other government substudies. I actually had the opportunity to live amoungst the working middle class. Had the 2 cars, house, 401k and the kids. But I am here to tell you, its all still a set of systems, that bascially lulles you with illusion that you are in control of your life, but its truly no better than being on welfare!
Even my so called 'enlightenment', can be suspect to a systematic set of controls if I am not thoughtful. Yes! Family, work, you name it, control, control, control!
So, I was thinking this morning, how does one achieve true freedom? How can one bust the man made set of controls?
Again, when I was living the American dream, and walking what I believed was the spiritual path, I thought I was free, that is until my health began to flounder, and I truly realized just how vulnerable one can be. Instead of enjoying the middle class controls, I was thrusted straight into the healthcare system of contols and all that pertains to living a dependent life. For awhile, I could not wrap my head around this paradoxal life. On the one hand I knew I had the power to overcome obstacles, I have beaten the odds over and over again; yet one the otherhand, the strength of my body kept me trapped. It was almost maddening to reconcile. What happened to my faith and strong spiritual presence?
I have been experiencing some truly deep learning curves on this topic lately. One of the most important one is that life is really vast and no one really has the answers designed specifically for you. And although I have been questioning my spiritual fortitude, I have come to repect it even more, because being awake, even at this level of spiritual awareness has given me the power of awareness. Meaning, I am aware of my limitations, I am aware of my ignorance to some extent. And although these things appear to be weak, they do hold power and its own freedom. Although, by myself alone, I cannot figure out how to experience the ultimate freedom, I do know that continuing to learn and walk the spiritual path helps me to gage and navigate where I am, what role i am playing under what set of systems of control. I do know that above all man made laws, there are Universal laws that governs all things, and perhaps like the hero, Neo in the movie The Matrix, we are all here as individuals to learn how to use these Universal Laws to help our ownselves to experience true freedom. It may take many lifetimes, many lessons, but maybe, just maybe, this is what we are here for!
Many Blessings,
Keesha
Pop was a certified acoholic, a sick man. But he had a brilliantly keen perspective on life. He was a deeply philosophical man whose wisdom that took me years to evolve into. Pop, even in his drunken state would do his best to grace my younger brother and I with a wisdome he believed would save us from th pitfalls of life. His poem, The Game of Life' spoke about how all of us, the drunk, the stupid, the whore, the pimp, the rich, the old and young; are playing a game in life. It went on to show how we think we are free because some of us manage to dominate the seemingly weaker, but in essence, we are all slaves to this game.
Over 20 years after Pop's death, the movie The Matrix came out and I had an instant affection for it because it too spoke of the 'systems' or games that we all play. In the movie, as we all know, the hero and his followers eventually break free from the systems of control and manage to accomplish some truly amazing feats. I believe, just like the movie, and the phiolosophical obeservations of my Pop, that we are all indeed living wintin a system, a set of physical, and or psycholocial beliefs that dictates the way we live in this world. And I also believe that most of us are here to learn to break free from these controls. There may be many diffrent paths to freedom, but we all have that yearning to break free. But my questions has also been, do we really ever break free?
My answer today to that question is NO! Sounds pessimestic for one who claims to walk the spiritual path right? Perhaps, but I can only speak from my experiences. Let me share what I have come up with thus far on the whole topic of freedom.....
Everyone who knows me, knows that I was a battered child who was literally born in the system (protective child custody, welfare, foster care,etc.) And although I managed to deny a ton of barriers, and bend rules, I still remiain in the system. And I do not mean the poverty system of welfare, public housing, food stamps and all the other government substudies. I actually had the opportunity to live amoungst the working middle class. Had the 2 cars, house, 401k and the kids. But I am here to tell you, its all still a set of systems, that bascially lulles you with illusion that you are in control of your life, but its truly no better than being on welfare!
Even my so called 'enlightenment', can be suspect to a systematic set of controls if I am not thoughtful. Yes! Family, work, you name it, control, control, control!
So, I was thinking this morning, how does one achieve true freedom? How can one bust the man made set of controls?
Again, when I was living the American dream, and walking what I believed was the spiritual path, I thought I was free, that is until my health began to flounder, and I truly realized just how vulnerable one can be. Instead of enjoying the middle class controls, I was thrusted straight into the healthcare system of contols and all that pertains to living a dependent life. For awhile, I could not wrap my head around this paradoxal life. On the one hand I knew I had the power to overcome obstacles, I have beaten the odds over and over again; yet one the otherhand, the strength of my body kept me trapped. It was almost maddening to reconcile. What happened to my faith and strong spiritual presence?
I have been experiencing some truly deep learning curves on this topic lately. One of the most important one is that life is really vast and no one really has the answers designed specifically for you. And although I have been questioning my spiritual fortitude, I have come to repect it even more, because being awake, even at this level of spiritual awareness has given me the power of awareness. Meaning, I am aware of my limitations, I am aware of my ignorance to some extent. And although these things appear to be weak, they do hold power and its own freedom. Although, by myself alone, I cannot figure out how to experience the ultimate freedom, I do know that continuing to learn and walk the spiritual path helps me to gage and navigate where I am, what role i am playing under what set of systems of control. I do know that above all man made laws, there are Universal laws that governs all things, and perhaps like the hero, Neo in the movie The Matrix, we are all here as individuals to learn how to use these Universal Laws to help our ownselves to experience true freedom. It may take many lifetimes, many lessons, but maybe, just maybe, this is what we are here for!
Many Blessings,
Keesha
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